


Little glowing star stickers

by That_slut19



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Leonardo is sad, Okay i lied raphs starting to have a big part too, Self-Hatred, donatello is tired, just making leo have a bad time to vent, really only leo and don have big parts in this, this is my first ao3 fanfic sorry if im doing this wrong, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28686585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_slut19/pseuds/That_slut19
Summary: Leo stared at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Mikey had found a pack when they were kids and leo had begged to have some of them. They were starting to peel off, but they were still hanging on real tight. They didnt give any sort of light to the room, just barely illuminating themselves, yet he never bothered to take them down. They were utterly useless, but he was too used to them to peel them off.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 34





	1. A long night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so, this is a vent fanfic i made to just idk vibe. Leo just has a really bad time lmao. Im kinda idk, trying to make it different from a lot of the "leo has a mental breakdown at 3am" fics i read. Idk if its dumb or not lmao. Anyways just read it haha

Leo stared at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Mikey had found a pack when they were kids and leo had begged to have some of them. They were starting to peel off, but they were still hanging on real tight. They didnt give any sort of light to the room, just barely illuminating themselves, yet he never bothered to take them down. They were utterly useless, but he was too used to them to peel them off.

The stars swirled and blurred in his vision, tears he refused to acknowledge pouring over things that _werent bothering him at all, no siree._ Thoughts of how much better his brothers were at everything swirled around in his head, and he hated himself for being jealous. For being jealous of how calm and focused Raph could stay in stressful situations, of how smart Donnie was, of how sweet and kind and lovable and just plain _amazing_ Mikey was.

His arms flapped in discomfort, soft thwaps against the side of his head to calm himself down. What a loser. Couldnt do anything right. Useless. A burden on the team. They shut just _peel him off already._ He shook his head, as if he could wiggle the bad thoughts loose. Not now, _not now._

It took him all the effort he had to get up, but he finally got out of bed and started walking to the kitchen. A cup of sleepytime tea always helped with insomnia. He stopped at the bathroom in his way there. Splashing some water on his face, he noticed how dark the circles under his eyes were. Nothing wearing his favourite blue mask couldnt cover up.

He stepped into the kitchen, flipping on the light with a soft click. He half expected to see donnie making some late night coffee, or mikey getting a snack after waking up too early, but there was no one there. Just him and the quiet hum of the refrigerator.

He flipped on a burner, filling the new _non dark armor,_ kettle with water. He placed it on the stove, watching the water slowly heat up. He felt like something significant should be happening. Some heartfelt conversation where he spilt his guts, but instead it was quiet. Empty.

The hiss of the kettle brought him back to reality, and he moved to click the burner off, pouring the hot water in a cup, and grabbing a packet of his favourite sleepytime tea from the tea stash. He put the kettle in the sink, and went to his room, knowing honey or anything would just wake him up more.

He passed by donnies lab, the absence of light telling him that the softshelled turtle had turned in for the night. His heart lurched a little at that. It almost felt... Wrong somehow. Whatever it was he ignored it, and went back to his room, setting his tea down and grabbing a jupiter jim comic from his bedside table.

Minutes later he had finished the comic and the tea, and the chamomile and hawthorn were taking effect. He felt numb and.... Off, as he went to sleep. Like something should have happened but never did. He didnt have time to stew in that though, as he fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Lou Jistu video game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this chapter is very frustrating for leo, and theres not really a solution, at least rn. If you dont want to read that, i suggest waiting until the next chapter is out, which will be a lot easier on leo in some ways, and harder in others.  
> Thank you so much for your kind comments in the last chapter. It gave me the fuel i needed to churn this one out so quickly!

Leo was abruptly awoken by the sound of his brother yelling. The sound of some video game playing told him he had missed breakfast, again.

Leo walked into the living room watching Donnie and Mikey play some game, Donnie losing probably being the cause of the yelling from before. Raphael put a hand on his shoulder, then went to the kitchen to grab him some leftovers, a common curtosey for anyone who missed breakfast. 

"LEO! Play a round with me!" his youngest brother squealed. "Donnies already lost five times. Its getting booooring."

"Offended gasp! How dare my own brother betray me like this?" Donatello flopped back onto the couch, rolling over to give leo room to play.

It looked like they were playing some Lou Jitsu fighting game, in the two player mode. Leo hadnt played it yet, but he was really good at smash, and how different could it be? He sat down next to the orange clad turtle and took the controller Donnie handed him with a thankful nod. Mikey was already Lou Jitsu, so Leo chose Kamari Jouma, a yakuza boss that appeared in 8 total Lou Jitsu fims. He had a cool eagle tattoo and always looked badass, so Leo thought he was a good second choice if he couldnt be Lou.

A few mintues of button smashing later, the words "player 1 wins" flashed on screen as Mikey let out a victory cry. Whatever, Leo would get him next time.

"Another round, Miguel?" he teased, imaginary eyebrows wiggling.

"Of course, dear bro."

Player 1 wins. Well, he was having a bad day, is all! This didnt mean anything! He pressed the rematch button without even asking Mikey, a look of concentration replacing his uncaring air.

Player 1 wins. Again. He pressed rematch.

Player 1 wins. Rematch. Player 1 wins. Rematch. Player 1 wins. 

Goddamnit, he was so useless. Couldnt even be good at some dumb game, and he was supposed to be leader? Raph had put down some leftovers and started watching sometime within the past few rounds, but Leo wasnt paying enough attention to notice.

He was so fucking pathetic, couldnt even beat his little brother in a stupid fighting game. Useless. A burden. Why did they even keep him around?

"Ohmigod, Nardo, are you crying?" Donnie laughed. "Guys he's crying holy shit. What, someone upset theyre not good at this game?"

Mikey and Don both laughed as Raph looked vaguely uncomfortable. They were right. He was crying over some stupid game! It didnt even matter! Yet here he was wiping fucking tears from his eyes in front of everyone because he lost at some stupid game.

He got up and stormed out of the room, not bothering to take his breakfast with him. Whatever, it was cold anyways. 

He slamed the door to the bathroom, knowing the curtain guarding his own room would offer little to no privacy. He sank down against the tub, hot tears soaking his mask. He was so _stupid,_ crying over some goddamn video game like a baby. A useless, pathetic, fucking baby. 

His hands flapped against the side of his head, a cold comfort in his panicked state. They all hated him, didnt they? They should, at least. He was just a burden, dragging them all down because he was so selfish he couldnt take initiative and just _fucking leave._ So selfish. He knew he was nothing without them, so even though he was dragging them down, he stuck around for his own goddamn sake. A stubborn sticker refusing to just fall off when its obvious he isnt needed. 

He sighed, hiccoughing his way through another round of sobs. _Useless. Stupid. Pathetic._

The thoughts clouding his mind covered up the sound of someone approaching the bathrroom, feet slapping against the cold stone of the sewer.


	3. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raph to the rescue! Sadly not everything goes perfectly, but we do get a little peace of mind.  
> Thank you all for your kind words! It means so much to me!

The sound of knocking cut through the depressing fog circling Leos mind. No no no no, please no one talk to him.

"Go away."

There was a hesitation before the bathroom door slowly opened, and Leo mentally slapped himself for forgetting to lock the door. Raph walked in, averting his eyes and wringing his hands together.

"m sorry man. That uh... I shoulda.. Said somethin'. That wasn't cool a' don and mikey and I'm... I'm for sure gonna talk to 'em." Raph looked up, nervously meeting Leos eyes. The blue banded turtle snapped his head away, subtly trying to hide the tear tracks on his face. Sure raph had said it wasnt cool of them, but who said he didnt think leo crying over this was dumb too?

"I dont care. Do whatever, just... Go away."  
Leo turned away from his brother, covering up the shakiness of his voice with anger and frustration. The awkward squeak of the ceramic flooring rubing against leos skin punctuating his sentence. 

"Look, leon. I uh... I get what its like to get real angry ova' somethin' small, and sometimes ya can end up tearing up ova' it, its nothin' ta be ashamed of" Raph tried to put his hand on leos shell, but it got shoved off with no small amount of anger and distaste. 

"Stop babying me! Fucking leave me alone!" Leo whipped his head around and immediately regretted his words when he saw the hurt look on Raphs face. 

Raph got up and started walking away. Dejected eyes stared down into nothing as he left through the bathroom door.

"wait i'm sorry, i didn't me-" the sound of the door slamming muffled the end of leos sentence, Raph already halfway down the hall. He'd still talk to Mike and Don, obviously. Not Leos fault he was having a bad day.

The sound of Raphs footsteps as he walked away echoed in time with Leos heartbeat in his tympana. The world around him swirled as he stewed in regret. Why would he yell at Raph like that? All he wanted to do was help. He had offered to talk to Don and Mikey and everything. God Leo was a jerk. The blue clothed terrapin stood up on shaky legs, walking over to the sink.

He took off his mask, hanging it on a nearby hook to dry from the tears. He splashed water on his face, hoping the coldness would erase the puffy redness around his eyes. 

Leo walked out of the bathroom, planning to shut himself in his room for the rest of the day when he heard something in the kitchen.

"-You guys, I'm serious. It doesnt matter if it was 'just a game', Leo was obviously upset an' all ya two did was laugh. Thats not cool. Like at all."

"Look, Raph. I'm sorry. I should've realised he was genuinely upset. I shouldn't of reacted the way I did, I get that now. Can we just go apologise and move on already?" Donnie sounded a little shaky, like he was on the cusp of laughing or crying, and couldnt decide which one. He heard noises of agreement from Mikey and raphs dejected sigh, before he deicided to stop eavesdropping and go to his room.

He layed back on his bed, staring at the stickers on his ceiling and preparing for the apologies ( _forced apologies_ , mind you) he would have to face. 

The curtain rustled as a purple clothed turtle walked in, sitting on the chair at his desk. The tenseness in his jaw, and the way his leg was tapping the ground showed he wasnt the most excited to do this. Leo didn't blame him. He wasnt happy about this either.

"Leo, I'm uh... You see. I'm not good at the uh... Saying sorry side of thing." Donnie rubbed the back of his neck nervously, refusing to meet Leos eyes. Leon turned towards the wall, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders. Maybe if he showed his disinterest clearly, Don would take the hint and leave. Leo wasnt ready to accept any apologies just yet, nor was he ready to apologise to Raph, despite wanting to.

Donnies sigh rang through the room. Leo could almost hear the way he was opening and closing his mouth, trying to decide what to say. Leo fidgeted with his blanket, hyperaware of the texture rubbing against his skin. After a second or two, the silence was finally broken. 

"Im...Im sorry, Nardo. I didn't take how you were feeling seriously, and I was insensitive. I.. I apologize for that." Donnie reached out towards his brother before deciding against it. Leo sighed, knowing he'd have to give some sort of response if he wanted Donnie to leave. 

"It's fine. You're forgiven or whatever." The silence following his words stretched on for what seemed like forever, before Donnie slapped his legs and stood up. 

"Welp. Good talk, dear brother. I'm off to my lab." the curtain rustled again, signifying the shorter turtles leave. Leo flopped onto his back, staring up at his ceiling again. One down, one more to go. 

God he just wanted to go back to sleep, but it was barely lunch, and that would worry his brothers even more then his previous show. He steeled himself for Mikeys apology when something slid under his curtain. 

He got up to find a plate of pancakes with all his favourite toppings beside a note. 

"I'm sorry about earlier. I realised you didnt eat your breakfast, so I made you some pancakes! Love, Mikey (＾ω＾)"

Leo grabbed the plate, silently thankful Mikey had gone a less confrontational route. He sat back on his bed, eating the pancakes. They were amazing, as Mikeys cooking always was. 

Leo smiled a little, happy he had such understanding brothers. Even if Don wasn't the best with apologizing, Leo knew he cared enough to try. Of course, everything wasn't perfect, he still had to apologize to Raph, but for the moment he could enjoy his pancakes in peace.


End file.
